
. . . insights on children and parenting and a resource for educators and parents on children, teaching, learning, and leadership.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
It's Not My Fault!

Friday, November 27, 2009
Reading to Middle Schoolers
Once a month I have the privilege and joy of being able to meet with and read to our seventh and eighth grade students during their morning meeting. Drawing from fiction and non-fiction, I can usually capture their interest by varying topics that pertain to their lives, classes, and culture. Some short stories I read are abridged versions, since time is limited. Here are some of the selections I use: • The Feud by Saki (H. H. Munroe) adapted from The Interlopers
• The Monkey's Paw by W. W. Jacobs (see my November 4, 2009 post)
• The Ink Drinker by Eric Sanvoisin
• "Ralph Corlis, the Man Who Played to Lose" chapter from The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank by Erma Bombeck
• The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe
• Song and lyrics from "Another Day in Paradise" by Phil Collins
• The Most Dangerous Game by Richard Connell
• How Much Land Does a Man Need by Leo Tolstoy
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
F.A.T. City Revisited
Saturday, November 21, 2009
A Nine-year Old's Story
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Early Email
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Summer Professional & Curriculum Development Benefit All
As schools build their 2010-11 budgets, now is a good time to think about how to enhance professional development programs. Several years ago, on the heels of the curriculum mapping frenzy, we wanted to review, solidify, and enhance our curriculum . . . but in a way that would not tax teachers’ already busy schedules and not invest thousands of dollars in mapping instruction, software, and related support services. My school’s administrative team collaborated on building a Summer Curriculum Grants Program. Now entering its third summer, the program and direct benefits to the curriculum, teacher professional development, and classroom support are significant. Here is the program as it is presented in our Faculty and Staff Manual:Curriculum Development Grants
Brooklyn Heights Montessori School recognizes the importance of ongoing curriculum review and development and has established a procedure to accomplish this goal.
2008 – Mathematics
2009 – Mathematics II
2010 – Language Arts and Reading
2011 – Cultural, Social Studies and Science
2012 – Wellness and the Arts
• Beginning in 2013, the cycle will begin again with Mathematics.
• Grants will be based on a per diem rate of $100, not to exceed $500 per person.
• Grant money will be awarded upon completion of the work
Friday, November 13, 2009
Listening Leaders

Tuesday, November 10, 2009
The Currency of Language
While greeting children and parents one morning, I had the occasion to talk with a mother of a six-year old boy, Jonas. She and I talked about using appropriate language around children when she said, “I had a surprise the other morning. Jonas asked me, 'Mom, so long as I am not angry, can I use a swear word to explain something?'”The mother, with some trepidation, was curious as to what was on her son’s mind, and said, “Jonas, it’s okay to use it with me when you have to explain something.”
You could just see the wheels turning in his head; this was the passport Jonas needed to begin to clarify what was on his mind, and before Mom could encourage him further, Jonas said, “Dad said f---.”
“Oh, that's not good.” was her immediate reply, with raised eyebrows.
She went on to explain to me that they have a system in place in their house that when Jonas says a word like “whatever” or “fine” with a bit of attitude, he has to pay her 25¢ out of his bank. Knowing this, Jonas pursued his ultimate point, “I guess that we should charge Dad $2.00 for what he said, huh.”
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Bit by Bit
The heads of school for the New York State Association of Independent Schools (NYSAIS) had the opportunity to hear Mark Hurst at its annual conference. This post originally appeared on June 21, 2008. Mark was well received, entertaining, and immensely informative.Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Middle School Spooky Read
The day before Halloween, I had the occasion to read to our middle schoolers. With the help of their teachers, I thought it might be fun to read William Wymark Jacobs's (1863-1943) "The Monkey's Paw." This short story is a classic. Sunday, November 1, 2009
Family Dynamics
I had the good fortune to see Neil Simon’s “Brighton Beach Memoirs” this past weekend on Broadway. Set in Brooklyn in the late 1930s, the beautiful set is the inside of the Jerome home, first and second floors. Only Neil Simon can capture the comedy and drama of family struggles and joys of parents working hard to raise their children. Seen through the eyes of 15-year old Eugene Jerome; avid Yankees fan, Eugene reveals all aspects of his adolescence through his diary with the audience. You’ll inevitably compare his youthful innocence and family’s life with your own.If you can’t get to see BBM on stage, you can click over to hulu and see the full-length movie. Sometime on a Saturday night when you’re looking for family fun, gather around the computer and compare Simon’s family dynamics with your own.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Is That Really a Palindrome?
This is an article I wrote that was originally published in Teaching Children Mathematics way back in November 1995.IS THAT REALLY A PALINDROME?
by OTTO, A Fifth Grade Mathematics Teacher
Just the other day in my fifth grade mathematics class I was astonished beyond belief. (Children can do that to teachers, even when the teacher has been teaching for twenty years.) The lesson was simple with an objective to teach a new math word, “palindrome.” The class went something like this -
“Has anyone heard of the word palindrome?”
No one answers and many quizzical looks.
1221, 43534, 9001009 are chalked on the green board. Now the hands start to raise.
“These numbers are the same when read forwards or backwards. Can anyone give me an example of a number palindrome? Good, 4334 . . . and 87678, that's it. Now, can anyone think of some words that represent palindromes? Yes . . . MOM - good. POP, BOB - now you're getting it! Any others? LEVEL - excellent, RACE CAR - great.”
Cooper has his hand raised and is looking at me, not overly excited, just looking at me. When recognized, he casually says, “GO HANG A SALAMI, I'M A LASAGNA HOG.”
“What did you say, Cooper?”
“GO HANG A SALAMI, I'M A LASAGNA HOG.”
Now I have to assess quickly whether he is trying to play the clown or if he has something to say. So, I ask him to repeat it one more time.
“GO HANG A SALAMI, I'M A LASAGNA HOG.”
I proceed to write it on the board - the third time is a charm, and I finally begin to see the light! How did this kid do that? Obviously, he remembered it from a previous experience, but still, to remember it just like that. I write it down several times on paper before I can commit it to memory.
Before bringing closure to the lesson, Cooper raises his hand and says that he has one more. My response is “Fine, impress me.”
“A MAN, A PLAN, A CANAL, PANAMA!” ... I was impressed.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Marshmallow Test

Thursday, October 22, 2009
Gleeful Misfits

Sunday, October 18, 2009
Playing With Imagination
I love watching the imagination of our youngest children—students and visitors. When you look closely, you can see the imagination in their eyes and actions.During our faculty and staff work-week before the opening of school, I was chatting with teachers in one of our preschool classrooms. Two faculty children were having a conversation—one, an eighth grade student, the other a two-year old girl—and within a minute’s time the two-year old's attention shifted to a nearby dollhouse.
As is the case with many dollhouses, the back of the house was missing to give children easy access to the dolls and furniture within. I could see the adults in the room watching the eighth grader encourage the two-year old to interact with the materials inside. She grasped a doll and guided it to walk within the house, in the upstairs bedroom to be exact. You could see her become mesmerized by the bedroom and its furniture. All of a sudden, she guided her head into the room as much as it would fit. Next, she pulled back and then lifted her leg as if to enter the bedroom. Her eighth grade friend tried to help her understand that it is a room just for the little dolls. She looked a little disappointed, but soon accepted what he was saying and transitioned from her imagination to reality, going on to another activity.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Social Media Revolution
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Who's in Charge?
Plugged into my iPod and carrying my lunch and reading book, The Price of Privilege, I entered Prospect Park, which is huge — like Central Park — prepared to have lunch, listen to music, people watch, and read. I entered where there is one long park bench (it goes on forever), and a group of caregivers was chatting while their child charges ran, milled about, and tested their distances away from the people who were giving care to them. This part of the park is beautiful, like walking into a well-managed forest. I picked an especially good bench position to set up “camp,” with the park entrance about 50 yards to my right and a children’s playground about 50 yards to my left.On the eight-foot wide asphalt path in front of me, all sizes of little ones were walking, riding scooters, being carried, and riding in strollers. This day was a beautiful day to be in the park. I watched one child after another focusing on fidgety squirrels, birds looking for food, dogs tugging at leashes, and the underside of the trees that covered our area in shadows, protecting us all from the shining sun above.
As I was finishing my lunch with a bag of M&Ms, a little girl walked on the other side of the path in front of me. She was off the path, wandering around the trees. She was no more than 20 months. I can size the age of little ones because the two-year olds walk past my office each day at school going to and from the rooftop play area. I looked to see to whom she belonged and saw no one. She kept looking over her shoulder, so I assumed she belonged to one of the caregivers at the entrance to the park, about 50 yards away, where the group was sitting and chatting.
I kept thinking that someone would fetch her and help her with boundaries, but nothing happened. In fact, the child roamed even further away, towards the playground. Measuring the distance in my mind, I imagined myself sitting at the 50-yard line at a football game. At this point, I stopped what I was doing and watched the child wander down a small hill to get closer to the children playing, noticing that she is now a good 100 yards from where she belonged . . . and out of the caregiver’s sight.
Now I am ready to intervene either by yelling at the group of caregivers, “Who’s in charge of that little girl?” or to just keep watching her. The child walked closer to the play area and turned around and started to walk further away. I had a Montessori moment that said, “don’t underestimate the child’s ability to know how to navigate, but make sure she is safe,” so I just kept watching.
To my amazement, I could see her calculating where she was, where her “home” was and eventually taking steps in that direction. Finally, a caregiver sauntered past me toward the child and corralled her back toward the bench that was home base. Without admonishing the child, the caregiver walked past me — the one who was in charge . . . for a brief moment anyway.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Mind Your Mission
School missions come in all shapes and sizes. Crafting a mission statement is a challenge for any non-profit and requires a board of trustees/directors to devote much time and thought in the process. It is a good idea to review that mission every now and then. Schools should go through that process before each reaccreditation. Sunday, October 4, 2009
Nurtureshock
I am hearing more and more about the book, Nurtureshock by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman. After reading today's "NYTimes Book Review" review of the book, I get the sense that they are trying to nurture shock so that parents will buy their book. Bronson had two New York magazine articles that were equally provocative: "Learn to Lie" (February 2008) and "How Not to Talk to Your Kids" (February 2007), an article based on Carol Dweck's work regarding praise for effort v. praise for intelligence.Thursday, October 1, 2009
What a Difference 2 Months Make
The other day at a faculty and staff lunch, I had the joyous opportunity to hold a baby—two to be exact. Monday, September 28, 2009
Professional Development ---> The Marshall Memo
If you know anything about professional development—in any field—you know that it is what sustains people and promotes excellence in their work and in the work place. When you work in education, professional development becomes a way of life, and living the life of a life long learner models for children and young adults the way to move forward in life.Friday, September 25, 2009
Stay Close

Drug addiction cripples young people—and their families—in ways that we can never understand. Stay Close, A Mother's Story of Her Son's Addiction is the latest heartfelt, sad story about the subject. The author, Libby Cataldi, was Head of an independent day school, The Calverton School, in Maryland for 17 years.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
What a Catch . . . I Mean Throw!
Little Girl Tosses Back Foul Ball - Watch more Funniest Videos
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Fantastical Journeys
It was a beautiful day for a walk to Borough Hall where the annual Brooklyn Book Festival was taking place. Many vender stalls were erected throughout the grounds, all dedicated to books and reading. I grabbed an events schedule, and I was too late to hear Mo Willems (Don't Let Pigeons Drive the Bus, Elephants Cannot Dance, and Watch Me Throw the Ball) speak, but I was in time to hear a panel with Newbery Honor author Kate DiCamillo (The Tale of Despereaux, Because of Winn-Dixie, and The Magician's Elephant), Christopher Myers (Wings), and Michael Buckley (The Sisters Grimm) speak about "a world of whimsical imagination where elephants guide, boys fly, and humans and fairy-tale creatures live side by side."Wednesday, September 16, 2009
The Fate of H1N1 May Be In Your Hands

Please take four and half minutes and listen to the Take Away interview with NYTimes "Well" columnist Tara Parker Pope. You can also click to my July 30, 2008 post for more frightening facts about germs and their destructive manners.
Good advice. Very sobering.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
The Price of Privilege – Part 4 of 4
PART FOUR – WHY YOU HAVE TO STAND ON YOUR OWN TWO FEET BEFORE YOUR CHILDREN CAN STAND ON THEIRSIn this last section, Levine focuses on what parents can do to help themselves in order to help their children, and again, she uses anecdotes from her work, research, and her own life, family and circumstance as a basis for her writing. She devotes the last chapter of this part of her book to mothers.
Here are some notable quotes from the entire section:
- Affluent communities emphasize competition and extrinsic markers of success such as high grades, trophies, and admission to prestigious schools.
- Mothers become overly dependent on their children for emotional support and comfort.
- Excessive pressure, isolation from adults, inappropriate intrusion, controlling behavior, lax discipline—have all found their home in affluent communities.
- If we hope to have our children who are capable of being accountable for their behavior, then we must model accountability.
- Maladaptive perfectionism is driven by an intense need to avoid failure and appear flawless.
- Affluent communities suffer from both lack of cohesion and a lack of values that stress the needs of the community.
- This book stresses the value of authenticity in leading an independent, productive, loving life.
- Most children at most times in their lives, feel closer to their mothers than to their fathers. So it should come as no surprise that research confirms that a child’s best shot at healthy emotional development depends on his own mother’s emotional health.
- As we are able to feel generally loved, valued, and connected, so will our children. Children thrive best when their mothers take care of themselves as well as their children.
- We never fool our children, regardless of how convinced we are that “the children don’t know a thing.”
- Reaching out means we give, but it also means we get.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
The Price of Privilege - Part 3 of 4
Part three opens with an introduction to University of California research psychologist Dr. Diana Baumrind who is noted for her work on the impact of parenting styles on child development. “Her central concern has always been to identify those parenting strategies that are most likely to turn out autonomous children, children who are independent, capable, and loving.”
See my October 22 post, “What is Your Parenting Style” for more information specific to Dr. Baumrind’s work.
Some notable points from Levine in Part 3:
- Promoting guilt and shame invariably works against progress—and, more importantly, they weaken the ties between child and parent.
- The disturbing sense of entitlement so often observed in affluent kids is partly an outgrowth of parents’ efforts to elevate their child’s sense of self with persistent praise. See Dweck posts “Mindset: Dr. Carol Dweck Part 3” (1/2/09), “Dweck on Intelligence” (7/10/08), and “Getting to Know Dr. Carol Dweck” (4/18/08).
- Levine gives an informative look at what parent options are [for example] when your 12-year old child gets a poor grade on a math test.
- There are good insights on parents being the “bad cop,” firmness, letting your kids know when you mean business, containment, flexibility, and the difference between being in control and being controlling.
The green highlights throughout the four posts represent comments made in the book that are akin to the Montessori philosophy and the red highlights are not akin to the Montessori philosophy.
Monday, September 7, 2009
The Price of Privilege – Part 2 of 4
PART TWO – HOW THE CULTURE OF AFFLUENCE WORKS AGAINST THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE SELF Levine states that the [child’s] self is born in the crucible of interaction between parent and child. Every time we encourage exploration, applaud independence, and require self-control we help our children grow into their best selves. She goes on to say that kids with a strong sense of self can come out of dismal economic circumstances and kids with an impaired sense of self can come out of the most fortunate economic circumstance.
Here are several other points Levine stresses in this part of the book:
- What I loved about this section is that Levine emphasizes that the goal of parenting should always be to help the child learn how to act on his own behalf and that kids with healthy selves are ready and able to “own” their lives.
- Affluent kids are often so protected from even the most minor disappointments and frustrations that they are unable to develop critical coping skills.
- She talks about attunement, a reciprocal form of communication, that is aided by the mother who is sensitive to both the internal and external feelings and experiences of her child.
- The child who is well loved and well schooled in the importance of empathy, is a child who can respect his own needs while being sensitive to the needs of others.
- The “stuff” we buy our kids, the “advantages” we insist on providing say more about our needs than our children’s.
- Make certain that you speak to your child firmly but respectfully and never bribe your children to learn.
- Be kind to your child; her beginning sense of self is still largely dependent on your opinion of her.
- Children need to see that we value their character first, their effort second, and then their grades.
- Children need to see that we value their character first, their effort second, and then their grades. (Such an important point, I am repeating it.)
The green highlights throughout the four posts represent comments made in the book that are akin to the Montessori philosophy and the red highlights are not akin to the Montessori philosophy.
Friday, September 4, 2009
The Price of Privilege – Part 1 of 4
This summer our faculty and staff read The Price of Privilege by Madeline Levine with the hopes of extending our understanding of diversity—socioeconomic diversity—and how it affects our students, their families, us, and our surrounding communities.I would like to share what I gleaned from my reading with you in several posts. There are four parts to the book, so this and the next three posts will encapsulate my thoughts and impressions.
PART ONE – AMERICA’S NEW “AT-RISK” CHILD
Levine takes the reader into her therapy sessions with young people. One statistic after another give insight into this world of children and families of privilege. Some disturbing and others interesting, here are a few from part one:
- Adolescent suicide today has quadrupled since 1950.
- In addition to income, factors such as literacy, political freedom, and civil rights all influence a person’s happiness, what researchers often call “well-being.”
- Studies show that approximately 50% of happiness is inherited, leaving 50% to be determined by parenting, life experiences, and luck.
- Affluent parents hesitate to seek professional help more than other groups of parents.
- Materialism is a value system that emphasizes wealth, status, image, and material consumption and is found among people in all socioeconomic groups. Liking stuff isn’t the problem; liking stuff more than people is. We want to avoid training our children to believe that it is external rewards that are responsible for personal happiness.
- Two factors repeatedly emerge as contributing to high levels of emotional problems. The first is achievement pressure and the second is isolation from parents.
- Study after study shows that teens want more, not less, time with their parents.
- There is an inverse relationship between income and closeness to parents. Lower-socioeconomic kids are far more likely to report feeling close to their parents than kids from high socioeconomic homes.
Levine points out that increases in material wealth do not translate into advantages in emotional health. And, “Anxiety, depression, somatic complaints, thought problems, attention problems, and rule breaking can be 2 to 5 times more prevalent among private high school juniors and seniors than among the general population of high school juniors and seniors.”
Probably the two most salient points/suggestions I take away from this section of the book is 1) “Perhaps the single most important ritual a family can observe is having dinner together.” And 2) [Children] need to see that their parents value effort, curiosity, and intellectual courage.” On the latter point, read Carol Dweck’s work in my July 10, 2008 post.
Please feel free to comment on what you read, especially if you have read the book.
The green highlights throughout the four posts represent comments made in the book that are akin to the Montessori philosophy and the red highlights are not akin to the Montessori philosophy.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Records Exist to be Broken
While reading the August 10, 2009 “Sports Illustrated” magazine’s “Faces in the Crowd” section I notedLeland McPhie of San Diego Track and Field broke the American men's shot put record at the USA Masters outdoor championships. His throw of 22' 6½" beat the previous mark by nearly a foot. I scratched my head as I know that the men’s shot put record is around 75’. When I read the piece again, I noticed that McPhie is 95-years old and was competing in the 95- to 99-year old division!
McPhie, who competes for the So Cal Track Club, also holds Masters 95 world records in the high jump at 3' 1¼" (the Men’s high jump is around 8’) and triple jump at 13' 0" (the Men’s Triple Jump record is around 59’).
Congratulations to Leland McPhie! What an inspiration to our younger aspirants.


