I cannot say enough about How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims. You can view the author's TED Talk below and get a passionate, brilliant overview, but in order to have it all sink in—if you want it to—read the book. I have never dog-eared a book so much as I have with this one. Page after page captures much wisdom based on the author's research, professional experience, and personal experience raising two teenage sons.
Here is one example found on pages 203-206 where she talks about
"THIS IS A PARENT'S RIGHT AND RESPONSIBILITY:
DON'T SHRINK FROM IT
- Model it.
- Expect their help.
- Don't apologize or over explain.
- Give clear, straightforward instructions.
- Give appropriate thanks and feedback.
- Make it routine."
And, another wise set of self-help items on pages 278-282 . . .
"HOW TO LOOK AFTER YOURSELF
(YOU'LL BE A BETTER PARENT AS A RESULT)
- Discover your passion and purpose, and chart your path accordingly.
- Learn to say no.
- Prioritize your health and wellness.
- Make time for your most important relationship(s).
- Interrogate your relationship with money.
- Practice kindness and gratitude."